Radovići on Honor 🏖 BokaBuk

“Everyone is born to die once, but honor and shame live forever,” wrote Njegoš, whose words survive in talks of “humanity and heroism” to this day. Radovići are no exception to this.
It is said in Radovići, proudly, that there are still honorable people here. We took a walk through the village, asking a simple question: What is honor and what does it mean to be honorable?

We were not particularly selective but asked whomever we encountered: the children in front of the school, mothers who looked after their children on the playground, passers-by, but also those we see regularly — at the kiosk, at the market, at the post office…
Some waved us off — “Oh, I don’t know, that’s a tough question.”
Others became pensive, hesitating with words, only to gradually develop their thought.
It was exactly then, in those pauses, demure smiles and insecurities, that one could see how seldom honor is mentioned these days. Yet, despite of being caught off guard by it, many truely wanted to answer the question — to themselves, too.

In front of a building, at the playground, we encounter Sava and Lara, who go to school together, third grade. They were not the least perplexed by the question, particularly Sava who responded rather swiftly “Honor is to not go to school.” He paused then, to give it some more thought. “Well, honor is when something is good. When you are proud of something,” he added, and Lara agreed.

There were some older primary school students around, who didn’t feel like talking, but Viktor Aranđelović stopped for a moment and told us that “honor is when it is your privilege (or a matter of honor) to do something… that is positive.”

We stopped by the nearby restaurant “Kod Špira” (meaning: “By Špiro”), where Branka told us what honor is for her: “Dignity, a clean conscience, respect – one of the most beautiful virtues that a person possesses.”

“Well, honor is to be honest, cultured, to be a human. For a human to have something humane within, to behave politely, to not steal, to not cheat, that is for me normal and honorable. And, when someone comes to your house, it is normal to be an honorable person, to be generous… on the street, at home, and everywhere. There you go, I don’t know it any other way,” said Vukota Ivović, who was just then leaving the restaurant.

We also met Nikola, from FK “Sloga”.
“Honor can be twofold. It can be a human virtue, or it can be an honoring with hospitality.
(And what does it mean to be honorable?)
That is a human attribute. A great honesty, toward everyone, not only toward oneself, and trusting in others, and not just yourself.”

We spoke to Jelena and Milica. For Jelena, honor is “honesty, dignity, and respect of moral values,” while Milica said: “I think it is when someone respects you, or when they show you a respect, in some special way, perhaps with some gesture.”

The center of Radovići is not large, though it entails all that any center does, including a post office, a green market, and a shop.

At the paper store works Vlado, who was really companionable. With his own behavior, he demonstrated what he thinks of honor: “Honor is a pleasure, positive tidings, when I am honored to see you, to wine and dine you, or do something for you.”

The post office wasn’t crowded, which we seized to ask Bojana her opinion.
“Well, first off, what we no longer have these days, is honoring one’s word. Keeping promises, honoring one’s family, sticking to family rituals, whatever they represent for that particular family.”

“When someone honors you, when you feel some authority by someone, that is your greatest honor,” said Ceca from the green market.

When in Radovići, it is impossible to miss the kiosk. They are generally rather inconspicuous in larger places, but here, it is always lively and vibrant around it. This is probably due to the owners of this tiny empire, Fahira and Nedžad, who are always affectionate, very kind and always cheerful, so people love to stop by, and talk. It was therefore the most natural thing in the world for us to stop by, and ask for their opinion, too.

Nedžad first made jokes, “It’s when I sit down in a tavern, and everyone says ‘Aj časti ti!’ (your turn to pay/treat others),” but he then took a more serious approach, saying: “To summarize, honor is when you want for everyone the same as for yourself.”

Fahira is anyway a little more talkative, so we received a decent elaboration:
“Honor is the most valuable thing a person has. The most beautiful of all. When you have honor, you have everything. You care for your honor, make sure you are honest, that you do no harm, that you are not a thief, that you help everyone, that you do not cheat. It’s all part of it, and conscience, to not give away one’s conscience, to not go wherever you want… It means many things. Conscience — that is your honor, then to honor someone — that is also your honor (your privilege). To walk with your head held high, to not be ashamed, it’s all part of honor. To neither trick anyone nor gossip, to do no evil.”

We finished our gathering of viewpoints in our neighborhood, in Kostići — by our kin, with baked apples and a glass of višnjak (cherry brandy). We spoke of many things, while also receiving a couple more answers to our question.

For Vesna, honor is “when you honor with hospitality those who deserve it. An honorable person is one who is honest and does good deeds.”

And for Mare: “There are several variants — when you honor (treat) someone, you do that with feelings, you honor someone with befitting, pleasant behavior. Being an honorable person, that’s having character, when you trust someone that they haven’t betrayed you, or a person who does good deeds.”

And, while they spoke of honor, they showed it themselves — as it is has been done in Radovići from time immemorial: sincerely, hospitably, and with measure.
Naturally, we were honored.

What is honor for you?
Write your answer in the comments below!